The Sweetest Spot on Earth : Happy Valentine's Day!

I find Valentines Day fast approaching and society would have us believe that it's a day for lovers. Although this isn't the first year I've been without a Valentine, this is definitely the first year I thought I had it in the bag. I just knew I wasn't going to be alone, but low an behold if there was ever a year to be alone, this is it. I've been seeing a nice guy for about 3 months now, but he doesn't want a commitment. At first I convinced myself that we were just having fun, I was too busy anyway, and  besides what's the worst that could happen? Well I found out that the worst that could happen is catching feelings for someone who doesn't want you the way you want them. I've been playing it cool, but as I think about how much I've put out and how much I won't be getting in return, I get angry ...at myself. I can't blame the guy because he was clever enough to let me know upfront that  he didn't want the commitment. Yeah, I blame cupid.

So, here I am, getting ready to cut him out of my life for good, and for no good reason. But before I do I decide to call one of my best friends. I wanted to vent, maybe explain my side. I thought maybe she could convince me that I'm not crazy for liking yet another spineless douche bag who isn't worthy. I would hate to think this disappointment equates to love somehow. My mind get's cloudy sometimes when I want something so bad that I can't have. She reminds me that I know love. I've been there, felt that. This isn't it. Move on.

Yes, that's right... I remember love! Technology is a wonderful thing. I found this picture on Google Earth as I took a virtual walk down memory lane. I went back to the place where it all began. This might just look like an ordinary corner to you, but for me this spot was a magical place. It's where I learned to fly. It's where I had my first real kiss, it's where I felt butterflies. It's where we would meet during the evening after dinner, the morning before school, the middle of the night when we would sneak out to look at the stars. Then a thousand kisses and hugs later it's where we declared our love for one another.

I know better. I was in love once. It was the height of my existence as a human being. I say that with pride, joy, a little regret, but with all that is in me. His name was Charlie, and we were crazy about each other. Like the old Casablanca flick that stresses that love is more than an act, it's a place, and a memory that we carry for all eternity. They'll might always have Paris, but me and Charlie will always have the corner of Avenue J-6 and Rodin.

It's the reason we carry through the hurts and the pains of the future, and the present. It's the reminder that hope is alive. It's the reason we try, and it's also the reason we hesitate to say goodbye. Because of this experience I've been able to move forward in any relationship because what we had was real, it took many forms including educational. It was powerful, and it was complete. It was more than passion, and kisses. It was trials and tribulations, commitment, time spent together, and Lord knows time spent apart, but  forever in one another's heart. We shared the same street, then we eventually shared the same heart beat. We were best friends, then we were lovers. We exchanged Valentine's Day presents, and long walks. We exchanged secrets, and laughter, went on missions and adventures. Our friends became friends. Our mothers became our mothers. We met when I was only 14, and we traveled through time as if we were on a cloud. When we were together no one else existed, nothing else mattered. Over the years we would plan and dream and scheme, rescue each other, and when romance failed we always had our friendship, then always the beautiful cycle would begin again.

Then one day, several years later, it was over, like the snap of a finger it was over. The love wasn't gone, but the days of carefree childhood turned into responsibilities that were beyond our control, him to his family, me to my studies then career. I still dream about him, still think about him every time I see a starry sky. He was mine, and I'll always be his.

In a way it was an accomplishment, an honor and a privilege to be that girl. Ride or Die? Check. His hero? Check. His one and only? Check. His first love? Check. The one that got away? check. And he was all that for me and more. He inspires everything I do, from writing, to designing. I do it all with him in mind.

Here's the point that lies at the tip of any heart. When V-Day rolls around I will not feel alone, or like a failure because I don't have a "him" by my side. I will feel like a blessed woman with so much on her plate that I haven't the time to sit around and count my losses, or the what if's of a future that doesn't exist yet, with a guy who simply isn't him. I know love. I will hold my head up high, I will remember, I will smile. I will do more than survive, I will live. I know the truth about love. And I know that for me and Charlie we'll always have Avenue J-6 and Rodin. We're the lucky ones, because we had something that couldn't be lost, or misplaced, even questioned.

I get sad thinking about the people who don't know about real love, because once you know it you can't help but to spread it. You want to show it, you want to give it as much as possible. Knowing real love means finally knowing how short your time here is and how short your time together is. And loving is time well spent. Find your magic this Valentine's Day. Love doesn't cost a thing, it's more valuable than money, and it only grows when you give it away, so whether it's a memory, a place, a kiss, or time reserved for you and your lover, just spend it, give it away, then live it eternally. Don't be afraid, because real love is always worth it.